I really wanna go for church retreat!
Actually i just wanna go on a holiday with friends again.

I was reading my travel diary, I'm so glad i went ahead and bought it even though it was pricey.
I'm so glad i had the discipline to record down each of my travels. It's wonderful being able to remember in details what happened during each and everyone of those trips.

Too bad i gotta go serve the nation huh.
I wonder when we'll have the next trip with everyone being able to make it..
Probably will be with YAYA and not the Youths anymore..

We've come to a certain time of our lives where we're just too busy with school and other commitments i guess. But it can't be helped..

We were once young.. and carefree.


I remember, in the context of church, where we would follow our folks for church retreats, and then the kids would plan our own activities. We would simply decide the time to meet at the lobby after resting a while in our rooms, either to go for a swim or head down to the beach.
It's kinda different now.. We have responsibilities and duties to perform. We're usually incharge of something, be it games, or singspiration, or what not.

Afterall, we've grown up.


I remember, still in the context of church, when the grown-ups would challenge us to commit our lives to living for God's glory. And we were amazed by the stories they told. I remember being thrilled about going for a day trip to sentosa, ending the day with stay-overs and more story telling. I remember the grown-ups driving out from camp, to get our lunch, and how we would wait expectantly, anticipating what surprises they would come back with (although it was usually chicken rice).

But alas, we've all grown up.
We're challenging the younger ones to live their lives for God.
We're driving.
We're buying lunch.. which reminds me, i still owe Deb for the chicken rice. oops.


I remember too, when dad would take me and ben, fishing at pasir ris. I keep asking when we'll go again.. but i doubt he really knows how much i want it. Mum and Dad work hard. They have to sleep and wake up early.. really early. It has come down to this, that even for our anual family holiday, Ben wasn't with us the last time.

Perhaps it has come upon me sooner than anticipated.. i'm not a kid anymore.
Yet, i'm not an adult.

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle, where sometimes i wanna be a kid, and sometimes i demand the freedom of adulthood, so much so that people don't know how to react.

What's this feeling? Sheesh, I wish I could write a song.