I really wanna go for church retreat!
Actually i just wanna go on a holiday with friends again.

I was reading my travel diary, I'm so glad i went ahead and bought it even though it was pricey.
I'm so glad i had the discipline to record down each of my travels. It's wonderful being able to remember in details what happened during each and everyone of those trips.

Too bad i gotta go serve the nation huh.
I wonder when we'll have the next trip with everyone being able to make it..
Probably will be with YAYA and not the Youths anymore..

We've come to a certain time of our lives where we're just too busy with school and other commitments i guess. But it can't be helped..

We were once young.. and carefree.


I remember, in the context of church, where we would follow our folks for church retreats, and then the kids would plan our own activities. We would simply decide the time to meet at the lobby after resting a while in our rooms, either to go for a swim or head down to the beach.
It's kinda different now.. We have responsibilities and duties to perform. We're usually incharge of something, be it games, or singspiration, or what not.

Afterall, we've grown up.


I remember, still in the context of church, when the grown-ups would challenge us to commit our lives to living for God's glory. And we were amazed by the stories they told. I remember being thrilled about going for a day trip to sentosa, ending the day with stay-overs and more story telling. I remember the grown-ups driving out from camp, to get our lunch, and how we would wait expectantly, anticipating what surprises they would come back with (although it was usually chicken rice).

But alas, we've all grown up.
We're challenging the younger ones to live their lives for God.
We're driving.
We're buying lunch.. which reminds me, i still owe Deb for the chicken rice. oops.


I remember too, when dad would take me and ben, fishing at pasir ris. I keep asking when we'll go again.. but i doubt he really knows how much i want it. Mum and Dad work hard. They have to sleep and wake up early.. really early. It has come down to this, that even for our anual family holiday, Ben wasn't with us the last time.

Perhaps it has come upon me sooner than anticipated.. i'm not a kid anymore.
Yet, i'm not an adult.

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle, where sometimes i wanna be a kid, and sometimes i demand the freedom of adulthood, so much so that people don't know how to react.

What's this feeling? Sheesh, I wish I could write a song.

Spending a day at home can be rather boring! I decided to download goundbound again, but alas, it doesn't seem to work.. perhaps i don't belong to the gaming world afterall.. dota also failed me.
I went grocery shopping with my parents today! Dad said i was stocking up for war! That's a lil exaggerated, i only bought can food, suasages, eggs, instant noodles.. the essentials! Afterall, i can't cook.. what a loser.

After that, i came home and invaded Ben's room, and set up monopoly there. As in the boardgame.. (for those people studying econs and forgot how to think simple) He was supposed to be studying for his geog test tomorrow but.. :p Totally owned!


We passed people walking unsheltered in the rain today while driving to parkway..
I imgained what it would be like to hand them an umbrella, or give them a ride. Is it a common thing? To imagine doing a kind deed rather than actually doing it? To know we have the capacity to do good but not actually do it? Are we sometimes so paralysed by shy-ness or a fear of rejection and embarassement that we dare not stretch out a helping hand. We live in a society that is selfish and blind; a world of people too caught up in pursuing their own passions, too busy to spare a thought for others.

But isn't that when a kind deeds becomes kinder, and a smile, warmer?


Make someone's day won't you? Stop for a moment and ask, "How are you?"
Smile for a while and you'll be surprised how it can lift the atmosphere, but more importantly, how joyful the rest of your day will be. :)

Nose.. flowing like the Neil.
Throat dried like the Sahara.

NO! this is not gonna get me down! Rarrr!
Shit.. i wanna sleep.
I need to study にほんご！

In anycase, dinner over at lix's yesterday with the funnest gang was enjoyable, abeit emotional for some.. maybe I don't know exactly wat's going on now.. but what i know is, so long as there's love and the desire to be together, that's all that matters. Enjoy the moments when you are forced to be together, so that when you don't have to, you'll want to. If crying over the prospect of separation isn't a true manifestation of genuine friendship, I don't know what else is. Enough said. I love you guys! Hope to see ya again soon! :D

Ah very messed up.
Medicine, psychology or environmental biology?!

Bleah. I dunno wat i wanna do.
Spoilt for choice.

NUS open house wasn't very good.. too many talks back to back.. no breaks..
Students managing the booths also blur blur. ah, but i got an orange balloon. hehe.

Gave it to a little girl at vivo later.. her dad came and asked me where i got it.. lol.


I went back to crash choir camp that day. They sound good now. Especially the basses! Amazing. Too bad i'll probably miss this year's SOV. :( :( And i miss all you wonderful people too! Wish i could have stayed over night then..


Darn ryuworks neh neh guy is taking really long to pay me.. and i think he just blocked me on msn.. I am never working for him again.


Last thur's music prac was a waste of time. The only musicians there was Eugene Chua on piano, Jerome who adamantly calls me Benny, Uncle tang, mum and i. I mean, what for have a music prac when less than one-third of the team is there?? And some ppl think they damn zai... selfish shixz...

I really wonder what I have done to deserve such blessings from God!!!
Really happy with my results!! :D :D

Today i was having dinner at the longhouse coffee shop with my family again, and i suddenly remembered how i argued with my parents there about not understanding how hard it is to get good grades for VJ's exams. And about the new syllabus being extremely vague and impossible to predict. And about fretting over getting tuition which i never got in the end..

I also remember making a pact with Daniel to go to Pattaya with the choir, come back and get straight As to spite those who didn't go.. and also an old blog post about going all out to achieve good grades despite people bitching about how much you study..

but in all that, i never actually thought it was possible to get a single A.. a dream far away..



THANK GOD REALLY :)


Now I'm so flustered about which uni to apply to.. but thank God i actually have the chance to fret. :D It still hasn't sunk in yet.. hehe.

Some people have been getting As their whole lives.. so to them it's not as exciting or not as unbelievable i guess? But for me, i never got 1 before. :D k i'm jsut repeating..

goodnight world.

Took out my dusty diary and wrote in it after months of not touching it. Well when you pick up a diary, your own of course, you read it..

I realise i've been extremely childish in the past.. haha.
And i realise i can write pretty passionately :p scares me somehow.. when now i'm not so passionate about those things anymore.. am i making sense?

Maybe i shdn't continue blogging about this.. afterall, I wouldn't keep a diary if it's contents were bloggable.. o.O

In a word.

HELP!

Veggies are delicious. :)

Soon i shall bug mum to teach me a few dishes.. so i can finally proceed on to cooking food for myself instead of salads and sandwiches all the time! Ha.

I need career advice!
Results are coming out soon and i'm at a lost as to what to do.

I'll be a doctor!
Always liked the idea of helping people, i'd specialise into psychaitry! Or maybe i'll be a paediatrician.. but then, there's the danger of becoming tired of hearing mentally ustable people talk and talk.

I'll be a Biologist!
But singapore has so little biodiversity compared to overseas like Auzzie! And i dun think the pay's good..

I'll be a pilot!!
Has been my childhood dream. It's an interesting life, plus the pay's good! Only downside is there's a opportunity cost of close family ties in the future..

I'll direct movies and become famous!!
Hmmm.. i have no idea what that entails at all.. but i always admire people who can write and direct a good script.

Maybe i'll cook..
or bake.. i'll call my bakery Fred's breads..



I won't
work in finance sector..
business..
engineering..
politics..



Some one talk to me! o.O

The Leap Years is a nice movie :D

First time watching a movie alone. It's quite a nice thing actually.. some me time to think about anything and space out without anyone asking you if you're all right.. haha! Not an extremely interesting story line, but very well written and directed all the same. :) Li Lin is pretty! Added bonus of course.. just like how Hwee and XT wanted Gima Sensei to teach us.. heh heh!

To all jan batch NS guys.. hang in there man! POP soon! And get well soon Cheng Wei! Hope to see ya in sch this fri!

This Fri is Results Day man!
Exciting TTM. After months of waiting.. finally..
I'm worried bout Math and Chem and GP! Is that alot? oh man...
I'm worried i'll foroet to praise God. I'll definetely remember in the evening during prayer and praise though. :D:D

Last Fri went cycling at ECP with eugene, cycled from macs to KPE and back, then to changi safra and back.. is that far? Yea man! But i chose the bike with the more comfortable seat.. so i'm fine :)

Sat went to see Dr CK Low for the final review and.... another 6 weeks before i can play badminton man! sians....
I gave him a black moor (goldfish) to add to his collection in the clinic! wonder how it's doing now. hehe.

Then went shopping with Mum. I helped her pick shoes to try! And i actually picked the winning pair! hehe. I'm so proud of myself.. or should I be? Eh but it's quite nice okay!! hehe. Do girlfriends go shopping with their partner? I dun think so right... hmm. oh wells.

Guitar class again todae! FUN! :D But ohmygoodness can anything be more embarassing than that which happened during lunch.. SHEESH.