I'm back again! hahaha!!
Pleasant surprise this morn, stay in only starts next week....

Ah shucks this wed no cell group.. I thought maybe can attend one more time before stayin..

ECP airforce run this wed.. hope everyone runs faster so i can go visit choir!!!!

Here we go again..
My bags are packed i'm ready to go..

Weekdays at the airbase.
Weekends are once again eagerly anticipated. Hopefully the food gets better, and the beds are softer. And the showers are nicer, and the instructors kinder.

2 months to go.

It should be all right. If I don't miss you too badly that is..

***

I really hope to be able to go send the choir off this sunday. It's coming to 2 months since I last saw them. Suddenly I see the photos of us in Pattaya and i'm reminded of all the nice things we did together.

Neither have i met up with my class in a while, missed the last outing for a family dinner. Weekends are a scarce resource now and i can't have the best of both worlds..

Too little time in church too. Gone are the days when everyone could go out and chill together. Now it's only one to one "dates" haha. Perhaps more heart-to-heart sharing is possible this way. But i really wanna go for a youth outing like old times again. Maybe once everyone is out of school and more independent.. not yet in uni or not so busy.. we could go somewhere and have fun.. maybe this maybe that. Nothing's certain. Ah well, isn't life more exciting like that?

Funny thing growing up is. You really keep your close friends closer. I just wish i could be closer to some.

New unti tmr!
God says. Do everything without complains and gribing. Be the light that shines in this perversed world.

Wow. How apt. I mean.. everyone knows what kind of environment i'm gonna be stuck in for the next period of my life.. vulgarities galore, politics.. yet i'm thankful God's gonna be there with me. Reminding me to put on the whole armour of God. loins of truth, breastplate of righteousness, helmet of salvation, shield of faith, sword of truth. Best armour any army can ever have i suppose.

I wonder what tmr brings...

First of all.. THANK YOU GOD for posting me to Paya Lebar Airbase. Haha. It's so freaking near my house i can actually see both the airforce school as well as my house on the e-map..

Had a good break after BMT..
Retreat, then 1 whole week catching up with friends. Movies after movies, youth leaders' meeting, badminton!! Wohoo. A week well spent I would say. Although i definetely wish i had more time to catch up with everyone else! Bear and Orange, next week k! I still owe dad a belated father's day meal.. heh heh. sorry!

Thank God for a chance to draw myself away from all the distractions of the world to spend time with Him alone at the beach.. it's really good to do this once in a while i think.. get your thoughts sorted out, and suddenly i can put things that seemed so important aside, in faith, trusting that God will take care of them in time.

Pretty excited about reporting to my new unit on monday.. then again.. I wanna spend more time chilling with friends! This is one of the most trying periods of growing up man.. eveyone's busy, some in the mids of transiting into adulthood, others still caught up in the notion of schooling and exams and CCAs and other commitments. I want a holiday together. Youth retreat! end of the year.. hmm.. chalets.. how will the turn out be? questions.. doubts.. but we gotta try anyways!!

Retreat 08

A' Famosa Resort, Malacca.

Dad drove up for the first time in years.. stopped by durian heaven upon uncle Kim Chye's reccomendation..

Smile for the camera Johann!! Haha! He really did..

First day reccee of the 500+ hectre land area resort on bicycles with eugene was tiring.. had a hard time finding our way back to the rental shop cos we cut across the golf course to get out..

The pony we never rode, just stopping by to say Hi.

The NLBC paintball team 1

Paintball team 2

Archery.. Eugene Hoong won a platypus/bear/duck scrub thingy.. o.O

Chilling out in the ballroom after the day ended and the night began.. polar bear, the bone snatching game.. stealing Abel's slippers..

Tour of Malacca town.. Makota, chicken rice balls, jonker street.. cheap billabong belts, electric shock pens.. ice lollies.. accessories.. mini mahjong set!

And the 7 weeks were over in a flash.

It's undeniable that i've changed. I'm more concerned about how i've changed inside though. Somehow or rather I feel i haven't exactly become a better person. Perhaps stronger, more resillient and daring to stand up for myself, but sometimes, in doing so, i forget the one whom i have been called to represent. And i let the words slip, the mind run wild and i lose control. I ask myself, have i been a testimony to my bunk-mates. Perhaps. Then again, the things i've done in there to survive.. 8 weeks ago i would have looked down upon my future self and frowned. Integrity is all about what you'd do when nobody's watching isn't it? Something I certainly haven't been practising at all. It's tiring when the attitudes and characters around you fuel the wrong masculine instincts in you. Taught to be aggressive, forced to make a stand for yourself.. tempted everyday to look down upon the unfortunate and smirk.

I need to come back to God.. need to re-learn how to be a nice person. Suddenly i feel my EQ went down a few points. Somehow the retreat wasn't as fun as i anticipated. Honestly, I felt unmotivated to have fun.. is there even such a feeling? how to ironies of life grip you so tenaciously sometimes. And yet.. I think i can be rather hard to read. At moments i feel like i can't do without certain people, yet sometimes i just wanna be alone.

I don't understand. Something's wrong, something's missing.
A day at the beach with God would probably do me some good. That's what pastor said too...